What’s Your Non-Verbal Communication Costing You?

You know the saying, “it’s not what you say it’s how you say it.”

Only 7% of a message is in the words we use. That means nearly all of our communication we send come from our body or non-verbal cues. Effective leaders and managers – anyone whose success is dependent upon communicating with others needs to know the impact of non-verbal communication on her or his success.

Below are five common non-verbal cues, their meaning and potential impact.

1. Hands behind back
Holding hands behind the back is a confidence gesture. What’s more is this sign shows power and superiority. The heart, stomach, lungs, etc are exposed in this position. If you are trying to build or repair a business relationship, it’s best to avoid this position as it may be seen as smug. However, if your opinions or decisions are being criticized, this position can build confidence with the receivers.

2. Arms crossed
This is a protection gesture. Many people cross their arms when they feel threatened. This doesn’t necessarily have to be a physical threat. Crossed arms can occur when a manager is giving constructive feedback to her employee and the employee feels a bit threatened. If you notice your employee crossing her arms this is an opportunity to acknowledge the employee for doing something well.

3. Rubbing the chin
This is a form of an evaluation gesture. When the listener brings his hand to his chin and rubs or strokes it, he is in decision-making mode. If you are a manager listening to an employee’s presentation, you may reveal that you are starting your decision-making process before the employee is finished.

4. Hand on cheek (elbow on table)
This is a sign the listener is bored. Again, if you are a manager listening to your employee’s presentation, you may want to be aware if you are beginning to show signs of boredom – even if you really are bored.

5. Steeple
Placing your hands or arms (visualize elbows on table with fingertips pressed together) shows great confidence. Often used in superior-subordinate interaction as when a manager is giving direction to her employee. While the steeple demonstrates great confidence in what the person is saying, it can be interpreted as smugness (think “Dr. Evil”).

Reading non-verbal communication is similar to reading the written word. It needs to be taken in clusters and read in context. Knowing some basics of non-verbal communication will help you notice when your body is communicating what you are thinking.

Notice the next time you rub your chin when listening to an employee. Are you evaluating something? If you are evaluating something are you fully present and listening to your employee? Your employee will notice.

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