Last week I started a multi-part post about apologizing with sincerity and grace. Did anyone apologize to you this past week? Did you notice if there was a “but” or “if” in their apology? Click here to read last week’s post.
These next three of seven tips (tip #’s 2, 3, & 4) will go into the mechanics of making a sincere and graceful apology.
2. Let go of your ego.
In order to sincerely and gracefully apologize, you need to get over yourself and let go of your ego. You may need to take a few deep breaths to really get this one. Oh, and stop taking yourself so seriously. A wise colleague once said to me “would you rather be right or rich?” (In this case, rich can mean rich and productive work relationships, having fun on a project team, enjoying a good relationship with your peers, etc.) Deep down inside, I wanted to be right. Deeper down, I wanted to be rich.
3. Express regret
Say “I’m sorry”. It’s a powerful statement. Plus, it’s the easiest element of an apology. However, left alone the phrase can seem insincere and contrived, and the receiver may feel slighted. Muttering the words “I’m sorry” is only the beginning.
4. Accept responsibility for your actions and words
Acknowledge what happened by admitting that you have offended someone or made a mistake whether it was intentional or not. Even if you don’t believe you did anything wrong or offensive, if it is perceived as so, take responsibility for how your actions or words impacted the other person. Using the example from the original post, the manager could say, “I recognize that my words and actions offended you. I raised my voice while making a harsh statement.”
Stay tuned next week for Part III in this series to discover the rest of the elements of a sincere and graceful apology.
Advance The Scene 